Every morning, I say hello to Kobi and Aisha, Dan and Maui, Stevie and Di, Chris, Jay and Wally, Banjo and 'Matt Banjo' (or Shelley Banjo.) Oh and there is also Magpie and Fleur.
These are the local dogs and their owners who visit the same beach as me, most mornings, often close to sunrise. At that time of the day, we are all in a state of still having one foot in our beds.
Once I've walked past someone three or four times and said hello, although it often feels strange, I ask their name. From that point on, any polite exchange is always that bit more personable.
Knowing names has always been important to me. As a teacher, remembering names is a superpower.
At this time of the year, new staff teams are forming and in schools and early learning settings, learning spaces are being prepared for the year ahead. Here are a few tips to help build community and connection, through naming and knowing.
Tip 1 - Create a cheat sheet for names
Start the year with the names of all children, parents, (and even grandparents and pets if you want to go one step further) written on a A4 document, discreetly stuck to the inside of a programming folder or desk diary. I did this for many years and it was a game changer.
Instead of saying a mere 'hello' to a child on day 2 of school and 'hi' to mum/dad/grandma, I could actually walk past the folder, have a quick glance at the sheet as they entered the room and say 'Hello Fred (insert family members name here) and how were Lucky and Fluffy (insert name of fish, cat, dog, turtle here) this morning?' Something more personable.
Once you know children and their families well, this isn't needed, but it's a useful way to begin and makes a wonderful first impression. Supercharges the pace at which meaningful relationships and authentic connection happen too.
When I go into schools for short visits, especially if it's a one off session, I like to know the names of the people I am working with.
I need systems in place to get it right. This means I make an effort to lead the start of a session recording names on seating maps, handing out sticky labels or playing name games. It feels a little contrived at the start, but pays off when everyone is on a first name basis 30 minutes later.
Working with children is a little easier. They are only too happy to watch you squirm and make weird faces while you try hard to recall their names (from the roll call you did 10 minutes earlier when you met all 30 at the same time.)
I think people appreciate the effort of trying in the first place. The mistakes and feelings of vulnerability at not knowing...it's all part of being human.
Tip 2 - Develop a unique collective name for a group that adds depth and meaning to your connection and shared story.
How DO you refer to a group of children?
It's a very personal preference, and I acknowledge that there are many ways to do things, but I find it impossible to use generic, collective terms for children/students, without feeling less than authentic.
I don't call a group of young children 'friends,' when they aren’t by definition, my friends, or 'children' or 'boys and girls'. This is a personal reflection. It does work for many wonderful educators.
The collective names I use are ones I generally make up and they come from a connection with a group and something that gives us a shared identity. 'The Cumbie Crew' is my name for a group of kindy children I know well, and their name is connected to the location of their kindy. They called me Queen Maria for a while and that had a lovely story attached to it too. There is nothing remotely stately about my presence.
Tip 3 - Ask for the origin story - what's in a name?
Do you know the origin story of your name?
Do your family members know theirs?
I've told my children how their names came to be time and time again, but they never tire of hearing the story on repeat.
One way to create connection and deepen relationships, is through learning the origin story of the names of those around us. Think of those you work closely with. Do you know the history of their name and how it came to be?
You might not know the origin story of your name or you may not have thought about it for a long time. Now is a great time to reconnect with that small bit of personal history.
Sharing the story of your name is powerful. People are often proud of the story behind their name and it requires a great deal of trust in the exchange, because you really don't know where that conversation may lead.
Within all of this, consider the perspective of those who may never know the origin story of their name. Aboriginal children stolen from their families wouldn’t have known their birth names and what their names meant. A vital link to culture and identity was never afforded to them. I cannot begin to imagine what this would have felt like and I am sorry that this happened.
Children who do not grow up within a network of family or those who have spent a lifetime trying to create a narrative to escape the past, may never feel able to share their backstory. Not everyone can share their story. We must always consider the opposite can also be true in all aspects of life.
Tip 4 - Name 'Your Place'
Here's one that will take you outdoors. Take a walk around shared spaces, well trodden paths, ovals, playgrounds, nature play areas and school grounds with the task of creating your own names for spaces.
I used to read stories to my class in an old concrete tunnel, and we called this the story tube. I would often tell my Receptions to meet me in the story tube after recess. They, and I, knew exactly where to be.
If you have a few trees on an oval that provide nice shade and invoke a sense of calm, this could be 'cosy corner' and it could be a place you gather for certain activities. A spot you tend to gather for fitness, give that your own name. A place you eat lunch, there's another.
Where Name = Identity
The names we assign to places, people and 'things,' reflects our values, culture and identity. An inquiry into naming and knowing could go very deep!
What do you call the spaces in which you live, work and play?
Do you know the First Nations names of the places around you?
Does your naming and knowing reflect your vision and values around what diversity and inclusion looks like in practice?
One example of naming and knowing in my home state springs to mind.
About 500km from my home, the Flinders Ranges National Park was officially renamed to incorporate the traditional Aboriginal word for the area in 2016. 'The park was officially renamed Ikara-Flinders Ranges National Park. The new name incorporates an Adnyamathanha word, Ikara, which means "meeting place" reflecting the traditional name for Wilpena Pound — a natural amphitheatre of mountains forming one of the most prominent features of the Ranges.' (Source ABC online.) Read more here
As a family, we surf. Places we visit often have names connected to place. Triggs on the SA mid coast has a trig point. Ethels, on the York Peninsula, is where the iron ship Ethel's ran ashore in 1904. The wreck is still on the beach.
This is also the story of the mountains we have climbed and the climbing routes we have explored. Lighthouses around the world, boats, space craft...they all have names that tell a story.
There is so much to be learnt from beginning with a curiosity about a name.
If you begin with a name, and an ever so slight wondering about how that name came to be, there is always a story.
Go find yours.